thought for the week.....

So I don't know why, but lately I've been thinking a lot about charismatic manifestation and the practice of such theology. I personally cannot deny the cessation of spiritual gifts of the Spirit, as taught by conservatives such as John MacArther. I have close friends who "speak in tongues" or know of people who have personally experienced "healing" in some fashion. Even at our last college retreat, the guest speaker "prophesied" over 3 of our members. I think growing up in a Korean church didn't help either because charismatic practices have manifested itself during worship, even at so called "conservative" churches. I think the larger question I have is how to discern what is of God and what is not of God. Like I said, I don't practice spiritual gifts in my personal walk, but I am definitely intrigued by the countless testimonies of physical healing and yet skeptical of practices such as being "slain in the spirit."
Serving in a college ministry I do have concerns about what we teach and expose our students to. Sometimes I feel there is more hype and excitement for God through the signs and wonders and emotions that charismatics display versus the actual word of God. I wonder if we are putting more emphasis on our experiences or emotions rather than in God Himself? Or am I just "jaded" in my walk and not open to this "power of the Holy Spirit?"
I don't think I'm jaded (well I hope not) and I know I love God. But I'm just not certain that by speaking in tongues or falling over when prayed upon through the laying of hands, is indicative of how intimate my walk with the Lord is (or isn't). I don't get the "highs" from retreats anymore, only to come crashing back down. Does that mean I'm not living a "spirit-filled" life? Some may say so, but I beg to differ.....
I think one pastor said it best, "in every church, there needs to be a balance, a good balance between head, heart and hands."
I want people to recognize my love for God through the way I live my life for Him who saved me. If anything, this thought has really caused me to see just how much I lack in reading through scripture and finding my answers (truth) there. I guess it's time to dust of the cover...so to speak.